Wednesday, July 11, 2012

This Blog is Private...

This blog is private, but not really. Actually, private is my other way of saying that only a handful of people read this blog and that those who do, already know what I am about to actually document in this post.

I AM PREGNANT!  Whoopee!  Yes, we are pregnant with baby number three and we could not be happier.  And by we I mean my daughter because I think she is the most excited out of the four of us.  I am just at 15 weeks pregnant and I feel as though I am 6 months along.  Geesh...  As previously stated, I am using this blog as a digital scrapbook until I can get off my lazy butt and get a REAL scrapbook together.  So that means for the next several months your inbox will be full of pictures of baby bumps and complaints and gripes about the aches and pains of pregnancy.  Please bear with me, I promise to make it all better sometime around December 31st, 2012 with a picture of our new bundle of joy.  Then you will also be required to stick with me as I (hopefully) drop ALL + some of the baby weight then show off my hot new body that will trump Beyonce and Rihanna's even on their best day.

In my head you are all gawking over me, smiling and clucking your congratulations.  After the commotion settles and after the standing ovation you are giving me for bringing yet another little knucklehead into the world, I imagine you will ask how I am feeling?  Here is my response:

-I feel great
-My thighs have become really well acquainted and like to fondle one another when I walk
-My breasts are no longer just droopy from having breastfed two milk bandits previously, but they are also BIG.  Yep, big and droopy breasts, FAIL.
-My thighs, calves, ankles, little toes, and hips have all grown exponentially while my waist has just barely popped out.  In other words, I look as though I have inhaled my food for the past 3 months instead of being pregnant.
-I'm hot, nuff said.
-I am already beginning to feel the effects of pregnancy on my vision.   After three kids I figure, I'll be partially blind in at least one eye.
-And the worst part about this pregnancy is the pure lack of cravings.  I mean, isn't pregnancy supposed to be full of ice cream and pickles?  Chocolate and late night burrito cravings?  A heaping plate of steaming hot Gersnookenfloofen a' la Rose Nylund (ode to Golden Girls)?

So there you have it.  A look into the life of a mother who is pregnant with number three.  One thing I can say for sure is that it really IS different every time.  No pregnancy is the same.  And with that, I bid you adieu my friends, until next time!  I am off to rub my thighs together and hopefully generate enough energy to clean my house tonight.

Love, peace and stretch marks.

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