Thursday, September 27, 2012

No, Seriously!

I thought it extremely important to share this bit of information for any women out there who are considering pregnancy (and of course to my daughter A LONG TIME FROM NOW).
Things You'll Need For a Pleasant Pregnancy Experience...

1.  Granny.  Panties.  Total life saver, you can't deny their goodness so just give in!  And if you think you'll never use them after pregnancy, think again because the possibilities are endless; use as a head wrap for a quick dash to the store, snuggle up on the couch with your kids and keep warm, and of course, when you wanna wash your car but all the car washing towels are dirty, there are always your granny panties!  Need I say more?

2.  Extra granny panties.  This one is a no-brainer.  You will (especially with having more than one child) pee on yourself.  There, I said it and I am not ashamed.  Every laugh, every sneeze, and every shocking moment will be met with a tiny (or not so tiny) squirt of, yep you guessed it.  Of course this will probably only happen in your last couple months or so of being pregnant so you can hold off on buying trunk loads of Depends adult diapers (for now).

3.  A punching bag or a good sturdy pillow because sometimes you just get angry at anything or maybe nothing at all.

4.  You will no doubt need to harness your Wonder Twin powers at least once or twice three million times during your pregnancy.  But if the need arises and your powers are nowhere to be found, I would try inhaling and exhaling a few times and praying for patience instead.

Case in point, this morning during an impromptu stop at Peet's Coffee, I went to great lengths making sure my car was parked straight and equally between the lines so as to allow as much space for the people who park beside me to enter and exit their vehicles.  Lo and behold, the lady who pulled in next to me and parked on a sharp diagonal was not as forward thinking as I.  After calling her an idiot (quite loudly) I calmly walked my six month pregnant self inside of Peet's and asked, "WHO is in the HONDA van?"  To make a short story a teeny bit shorter, she moved her van but not without apologizing emphatically, to which I replied, "okay?"  I don't think she'll be parking on that same diagonal anytime soon.

5.  And last but certainly not least, here is an article I ran across several years ago.  It still gives me the giggles because although it may sound a little far fetched, it is SO true!  LOL


1 comment:

  1. That article on How to Prepare for Breast Feeding is so funny; maybe you should try a few of those suggestions!!!!


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