A Letter to My Son

For You:

My handsome, sensitive, strong and loving son.  When I first felt your kicks at thirteen weeks along, I knew then and there your name would be Ezekiel, Hebrew for "God's strength" or "strength of God."  Daddy and I had flip flopped between a number of names, including Essex, Ezekiel, and Percival.

But Ezekiel always seemed to be the most fitting.  You were on fire in my womb, destined to be the active life you are today.  You inhabited my womb with a vengeance and most certainly exited with the same gumption and preciseness. The first contraction came at 2:40, the second at 2:45 and in less than five hours I would be holding you, feeding you, loving you, and watching as your father wiped away his tears of joy, for you.  In no time at all I was transformed into a fire breathing mama dragon.  I would lay down my life for you, a precious little man who had stolen my heart and erased all signs of the world around me.

Mommy and daddy have some very precious memories of you as a baby, most will not be written about here, as they are locked in the annals of our hearts.  They are deeply embedded memories only to be shaken loose by a familiar laugh or an unrelenting tug at our heartstrings.  I simply cannot put into words the amazement we felt when you were born, and the feelings of awe and happiness your father and I shared--I'd never be able to explain why you were such a beautiful gift for us, an amazing, God-given blessing.

I'll never be able to explain in words how much your father loves you--he loves you, by the way, to the bone.  The joy in my heart when I see your natural instinct to protect your sister kick-in, the way you will demolish anyone who disrespects your mama, even your closest friends, and how kind you are to swallow my food experiments and proclaim, "Mommy it's delicious!" when I know you're just protecting my feelings.

You're intelligent with a keen sense of what is happening even in the midst of chaos. You are a ball of fire yet contained and calculated in the things you do.  I can't explain, I can only admit that you my son, are one of a kind.  No matter how difficult our days may be, mommy and daddy wouldn't have it any other way.

To our first born, our son...in less than six weeks you will be the big brother to not one, but two siblings.  You are the prototype, the trendsetter, you will be the one to watch over your sister when mommy and daddy are unable to be there (our second set of eyes).  You will be the big brother who throws a football, kicks a soccer ball and purposely loses to your baby brother while teaching him how to play basketball.You are now and will always be the one who is most like mommy, the one I can talk to when I am scatter-brained and no one else understands my craziness.  You are the only one who understands why I wear socks to bed in 100 degree weather and I am grateful that of all things, we have this--a love so deep that words are completely and utterly useless.

I love you my son, more than words could ever describe.

Love,

mommy